Putin, Saint Peter and God



Finally, one fine day, Putin dies, strangled by an olive pit (everything happens). He rings the doorbell of Paradise. Saint Peter opens to him. ” Yes ? That is why ? – Well, I’m dead, so I’ve come to ring your doorbell… – And who are you? – Well, Putin. Vladimir Poutine. – Wait, I’m looking on my list. Poussin, Poutrelle… Sorry, no Poutine. In my opinion, you should ring the doorbell next door, where it says Hell. » Putin chokes in indignation (after the olive pit). ” What ? Hell? After all I’ve done for Christian civilization? It does not make any sense ! » Hearing a noise, God comes to see what is happening. ” What is the problem ? Ah! But I recognize you! You rotten bastard assassin criminal child killer old pervert fat sadist filthy vermin excrement of…” Putin interrupts him, green with rage: “No one has ever spoken to me like that! I’ll kill you in the lavatory, like the Chechens! » God grabs him by the collar and opens the next door. ” That’s it ! In the meantime, go to hell! He’s waiting for you ! » And he slams the door.

Our file on the crisis in Ukraine

Saint Peter is a little flabbergasted: “Well say, everything you put on him!” I’ve never heard you speak like that…” God looks at him: “That’s a relief, my dear Pierre. It relieves. But the truth is, I’m ashamed. If you only knew how ashamed I am…” And he goes home with Pierre, wiping away a tear.

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